I have, I'm not I am!
I have Bi-Polar, I'm not Bi-Polar! There is a huge difference and it makes me cringe when I hear people that have bi-polar refer their disease as "I am". No, you're no
I have a disease called Bi-Polar and it's just as serious as cancer or diabetes. It's can be terminal and the amount of people it's claimed in death is staggering. There is no cure! So, in essence it's almost worse than those other serious diseases that are most often heard about and are accepted.
Bi-Polar when heard is thought of in several different ways, such as:
1. You stay away, you might catch it
2. You think the person is crazy and belongs locked up.
3. You say "I'm so sorry"
4. You quickly change the subject because you don't know what to say
5. You simply walk away and never talk to that person again, afraid you might catch it
Yes, I've experienced all of these. I've lost friends and family members. It angers me that people are so ignorant about a disease that is actually a disease, an actual chemical imbalance in the brain causing this horrible, crippling disease.
It's not a cake walk to have Bi-Polar. You can't see it like you can the other diseases, so people don't understand it when you cancel appointments or don't show up for something. It's lonely, desperate for someone to just love you for who you are and quiet.
I tend to be reserved in telling people I have Bi-Polar just because of the stigma it has, along with other mental illness diseases. But, then on the other hand, I sometimes tell people up front because it's apart of me and explains a lot about why I do things, why I say things and determines what type of friend I am.
Speaking of being a friend, I am a very devoted and loyal friend. I desperately seek new friends that accept me and love me for who I am. Those people are rare and hard to find. I don't judge, been there myself so I don't do it to others. I'm accepting of everything and I might not believe in their beliefs or lifestyle, I still accept them as a friend and love them as Christ loves them.
Good friends are hard to find. That's true even for people without having Bi-Polar. I have "episodes" that are pretty much uncontrollable, if I don't catch it in the beginning. Those "episodes" are filled with so much emotion ranging from sadness, loneliness, fear, anger, etc. I'll latch out at anyone, not caring who is in front of me.
I had one incident many years ago where I was in such an "episode" and the police where called along with several friends. This one friend showed up, which surprised me, and tried her best to calm me down while I was in the police car. I said horrible things to her and swore at her. I remember hearing her telling the police that I wasn't going to change my mind and to take me in. My choice was go to jail or go to the psych ward and my choice was jail. The psych ward doesn't do any good, more in a bit about that.
Later on, a few weeks passed and I saw this friend at church and I went up to her and hugged her while crying uncontrollably begging for forgiveness. She was so loving and she said she loved me and not to worry about any of it. I was relieved, but still felt totally horrified at my actions. That night I was out of control and couldn't control myself, it had gone to far. Any other friend or family member (yes, that has happened with family), would walk away and never talk to me again, but this one true friend knew it wasn't me talking, it was the disease.
The psych ward, just briefly. I've been there several times and it does no good. It's just a place where they push pills and you do crafts, eat, sleep and have visitation once a day during the week and twice a day on the weekends. I usually see other people in there that are by far worse off than me and I tell myself that I don't belong in there and I don't. It truly reminds you of what you're grateful for and brings total regret for those you happened to have hurt that time around.
You might have heard that people with mental illness, such as Robin Williams have committed suicide. You might wonder if I've attempted it. My short answer is yes and I'm going to leave it at that.
People are often so shocked when they hear of a celebrity that has committed suicide or have a drug overdose, because they think they are above everyone else. News flash people! They are regular human beings with diseases and feelings just like all of us. As tragic the death of Robin Williams was, it is my hope that the shock of it all brings the realization that even good, loving and well respected people have mental illness and succumb to it.
In the end, remember it's just another disease, only uglier and is a silent killer that nobody knows about. It affects everyone; old, young, rich, poor, famous, religious, etc. It's hereditary. In my case, my father had it and he died by committing suicide.
Love everyone and you'll be fine. Use Christ as your example and no one will ever get hurt by anyone and peace will once again reign on this earth. Wishful thinking, yes I know. But a pretty darn nice wish. However, you can do your part and love and accept people the way they are, even if they are a bit rough around the edges at first, you might find out they are a great friend, funny and loyal to a fault.
May you find hope in the sunrise and,
May you find peace in the sunset.
Written by Debbie Arvaneh
This is Debbie and I was here....
5. You simply walk away and never talk to that person again, afraid you might catch it
Yes, I've experienced all of these. I've lost friends and family members. It angers me that people are so ignorant about a disease that is actually a disease, an actual chemical imbalance in the brain causing this horrible, crippling disease.
It's not a cake walk to have Bi-Polar. You can't see it like you can the other diseases, so people don't understand it when you cancel appointments or don't show up for something. It's lonely, desperate for someone to just love you for who you are and quiet.I tend to be reserved in telling people I have Bi-Polar just because of the stigma it has, along with other mental illness diseases. But, then on the other hand, I sometimes tell people up front because it's apart of me and explains a lot about why I do things, why I say things and determines what type of friend I am.
Speaking of being a friend, I am a very devoted and loyal friend. I desperately seek new friends that accept me and love me for who I am. Those people are rare and hard to find. I don't judge, been there myself so I don't do it to others. I'm accepting of everything and I might not believe in their beliefs or lifestyle, I still accept them as a friend and love them as Christ loves them.
Good friends are hard to find. That's true even for people without having Bi-Polar. I have "episodes" that are pretty much uncontrollable, if I don't catch it in the beginning. Those "episodes" are filled with so much emotion ranging from sadness, loneliness, fear, anger, etc. I'll latch out at anyone, not caring who is in front of me.
I had one incident many years ago where I was in such an "episode" and the police where called along with several friends. This one friend showed up, which surprised me, and tried her best to calm me down while I was in the police car. I said horrible things to her and swore at her. I remember hearing her telling the police that I wasn't going to change my mind and to take me in. My choice was go to jail or go to the psych ward and my choice was jail. The psych ward doesn't do any good, more in a bit about that.
Later on, a few weeks passed and I saw this friend at church and I went up to her and hugged her while crying uncontrollably begging for forgiveness. She was so loving and she said she loved me and not to worry about any of it. I was relieved, but still felt totally horrified at my actions. That night I was out of control and couldn't control myself, it had gone to far. Any other friend or family member (yes, that has happened with family), would walk away and never talk to me again, but this one true friend knew it wasn't me talking, it was the disease.
The psych ward, just briefly. I've been there several times and it does no good. It's just a place where they push pills and you do crafts, eat, sleep and have visitation once a day during the week and twice a day on the weekends. I usually see other people in there that are by far worse off than me and I tell myself that I don't belong in there and I don't. It truly reminds you of what you're grateful for and brings total regret for those you happened to have hurt that time around.
People are often so shocked when they hear of a celebrity that has committed suicide or have a drug overdose, because they think they are above everyone else. News flash people! They are regular human beings with diseases and feelings just like all of us. As tragic the death of Robin Williams was, it is my hope that the shock of it all brings the realization that even good, loving and well respected people have mental illness and succumb to it.
In the end, remember it's just another disease, only uglier and is a silent killer that nobody knows about. It affects everyone; old, young, rich, poor, famous, religious, etc. It's hereditary. In my case, my father had it and he died by committing suicide.
Love everyone and you'll be fine. Use Christ as your example and no one will ever get hurt by anyone and peace will once again reign on this earth. Wishful thinking, yes I know. But a pretty darn nice wish. However, you can do your part and love and accept people the way they are, even if they are a bit rough around the edges at first, you might find out they are a great friend, funny and loyal to a fault.
May you find hope in the sunrise and,
May you find peace in the sunset.
Written by Debbie Arvaneh
This is Debbie and I was here....
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